Mother Knows Best
by Awesomegreentie
Summary: John's mother challenges him to admit his feeling for Anna.
1. Chapter 1

**this story came from a prompt to write about Mrs. Bates from TerrieJane's Weekend Challenge on tumblr. I appreciate her inspiration.**

John sat at his mother's table fiddling with his tea cup and trying to muster his courage, "Mum," he hesitated, "I have a favor to ask..."

"Well it's about time, Johnny. I knew you weren't here just to share a cup of tea with your poor old mother." Margaret Bates reached over and refilled John's cup as she spoke.

Her son looked at her indignantly, "when have I ever been here in London and not made time to see you?"

Margaret chuckled, her eyes twinkling, "And did I say you didn't? I merely suggested you weren't here just to see me this time. You've been agitated from the moment you walked in the door Lad."

"Was I that obvious?"

"I can read you like a book dear, and don't you forget it. Now out with it son, what can I do for you?"

"I...I was wondering if you had any idea how I could find Vera?" He spoke quietly and couldn't quite bring himself to look at her. Consequently, he missed the slight smirk that lifted the corner of her mouth.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with your Anna, would it?"

"She isn't my Anna, mum," he said into his cup.

"But she is, Johnny. Whether you care to admit it or not, she is. She cares for you deeply else she wouldn't have come here asking about your past." She patted her son's hand, "and she wouldn't have accepted the information I gave her so easily. She loves you and I hope you plan to treat her properly."

"I've never done anything but! How could you think otherwise?"

"Oh, I'm sure you think you have. I'm sure you've been...honorable..."

"Of course I have..."

"But there's such a thing as too much honor, Love. I bet you haven't even told her how you feel." She waited for John to answer but when he didn't, she continued, "She loves you, and you love her, she deserves to know."

"How can I?" John pleaded with his mother and she smiled at the fact that he didn't argue about her assessment of his feelings. "What do I have to offer her? I'm a drunk, a convict, an old man with a limp."

"You are, and that's exactly what Vera saw when she looked at you. But when Anna looks at you she sees someone who over came the drink, who went to prison in someone else's place and someone who encurred his injury saving his comrade's life. You'd be a fool to let her go, Johnny."

They were quiet for a moment, "What do you see when you look at her?"

John sighed but looked up at his mother and when he did she had never seen the look in his eyes before.

"I see...I see," something inside John broke down and he gushed, "I see sunshine. I see comfort and joy. I see the life I never thought I could have but now I can't think of anything else. I see marriage and children and rocking chairs by the fire." He leaned his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands.

His mother reached across the table and patted his shoulder, "Tell her, John. Tell her how you feel. Love can live on very little nourishment, but it starves with none at all."

"But how can I when I'm not a free man? What will that give her?"

"Don't underestimate that girl of yours son. She'll not put demands on you, but she will sleep better for the knowledge that you return her affections."

John looked up again, "Will she?"

"She will," his mother reassured. "And in the meantime, I'll see what I can do about helping you find Vera."

"Thanks, mum" John rose and hugged his mother, "no matter what happens, you'll always be my best girl."

"Ah, go on with you," she waved her hands and laughed, "Get back to Grantham House and write that girl a love letter."

And that's just what he did.


	2. Chapter 2

**This is John's love letter to Anna as requested by my lil sis A-lady-to-me.**

Miss Anna Smith

Downton Abbey

Yorkshire

_(Her fingers trembled as she recognized the handwriting and she tried in vain to contain the huge smile breaking over her countenance)_

Dear Anna-

My time here in London has been productive but somewhat lonely without the time I am usually able to steal a word or two or a smile or a joke with you. I find myself at the servant's table here with my book and my tea of an evening but nothing and no one else, although of course I am not really alone. At any rate, as the evening wears on I become restless and long for a bit of air and a private word or two with you in our courtyard. (_Our courtyard! What a glorious phrase)_ Funny how such an odd collection of crates and refuse has become almost a paradise for me. You asked me upon my departure if I should miss you. I suppose these words are your answer.

_ (She ran her finger over his words as if to assure herself she had read them correctly)_

I've been to see my mother today and she sends you her highest regards. In fact we talked about little besides you. I hope that you are not embarrassed to hear me say so. It was at my mother's insistence that I write you this evening. She has set me a mission and as her ever dutiful son I must obey. Anna, she says that you are in love with me, a fact which you were brave enough to reveal on your own, a fact which still humbles me each time I think on it, and that I must return the confidence and let you know my feelings as well.

_(He paused here wondering how to put his feelings into words and whether or not he was brave enough to do so at all_).

As women are so much wiser at these things than men, I suppose you already know what I have been trying to say with looks and laughs and every so often a touch. But Mother assures me it will be better to say it straight out, that you deserve to know all that I have never been able to say. I find it ironic that it gives me comfort to write these words while I am away. I don't know that I would be brave enough to whisper them to you in person.

(Anna had to force herself to continue to read every word instead of scanning the next lines for what she most hoped to find there). How is that for the bravery of your war hero, hiding behind paper, pen and ink?

But I suppose I've told you nothing yet, have I? What an old fool I am, Anna, and how you can find it within you to love me I know not. (He paused again, taking deep breaths). My mother asked me today what were my feelings for you and perhaps it will be easier to tell you what I told her.

Anna, you are sunshine and light. You are good and kind and generous. You are intelligent and funny. Your are beautiful of countenance and character. And I love you. (There they were, good God, there they were). I love you Anna May Smith. With every fiber of my being and every breath in my body, I love you. I tried so hard not to, but I lost that battle so long ago now that I simply can not remember a time when it wasn't true. I long for you as a thirsty man in a dessert longs for water, and I've been in Africa so I know.

I hope that Mother was right to have me tell you. She says it will afford you comfort, which I doubt, and that you are strong enough to deal with my feelings, which I do not doubt in the least. I have never met a stronger or more capable person in my life, woman or man.

So there you have it my darling Anna. I've said it and can not take it back. It comes with no kind of offer except this, the only one I can give, that I will do everything in my power to find Vera and procure a divorce so that I may someday ask you to marry me. Whether I will ever find her, whether that blessed day when I ask you to be my wife will ever arrive, I know not. But what I do know is this, you have completely captured my heart and it is yours in it's entirety until my death, or longer than that I suppose.

Lord Grantham and I should be returning home early next week and each day I am apart from you will be torture. I'm sure I will be brooding over your reaction to this letter until I see your beautiful face once again. Please forgive me if I have overstepped the mark but my mother is the wisest woman I know next to you so I will trust her in this.

Until I see you and feel whole again,

Your adoring,

John


	3. Chapter 3

**Anna's response to John's confession.**

Mr. J Bates

Grantham House

London

Mr. Bates,

I felt compelled to send you this all too quick note to ease your brooding. You can not possibly know how your letter has filled me with such joy. Silly beggar, how could you think for one moment that I could react otherwise? Your mother is a wise woman indeed. Please send her my fondest good wishes.

You may have to re copy the text of your letter over for me when you return home. I fear I've read it so many times that the ink is already wearing away! To know that you love me, of course I had hoped and dreamed that the smiles and touches you wrote of meant what you say they meant, but it was easy to think at times that I was just seeing what I wanted to see. You love me and the world is a beautiful place.

You needn't worry that I will use this information to my advantage Mr, Bates. Knowing that you return my affections is enough. I can wait forever as long as I know we both hope for the same outcome. You have made me the happiest woman in history and I anxiously wait for your return.

I dream of meeting you in our courtyard the very night you return. Dare I hope you might be brave enough to whisper the words now that you know my reaction to them? Either way, I long to see you and touch you. How unladylike of me to say so, but I'm not a lady and I don't pretend to be, as I've said before.

I will read your letter every night until you return,

Your loving,

Anna


	4. Chapter 4

**Last chapter of this little fic. Apparently almost all my 'one shots' turn into four shots. Anyway this is what happens when John returns to Downton after writing the letter. Hope you enjoy. Please leave a note.**

John Bates sat at his place at the table in the servants' hall trying not to fidget. He pretended to read his book but in reality he was only ticking off the seconds until he could check his watch... again. Although it seemed like an eternity, he was sure it had only been a moment since he had last done so. This whole day had seemed like an eternity.

He had arrived back at Downton in the late afternoon and since that time had not been afforded a single opportunity to be alone with Anna. He had to laugh at his eagerness, he was behaving like a 14 year old boy with a crush on his teacher and he knew it. But he hadn't even been able to sit next to her at dinner. He had arrived only moments before the meal began, having been occupied with sorting Lord Grantham's luggage. When he finally made his way to the hall he entered just in time to see Thomas slide into his own 'spot' beside Anna. The footman had done so with a smirk on his face, knowing they would want to catch up after John's extended stay in London.

Now the evening's work was done and several of the staff were enjoying the common area before heading to bed. Anna had looked at him knowingly a few minutes ago as she went for some air. He was only waiting now for an acceptable amount of time to pass before he joined her. Time which was passing much too slowly to suit his besotted emotions.

Like Pandora's box, once John had written of his feelings for Anna and she had assured him she received them willingly, they refused to be contained or restrained back in their rightful place. John glanced at his watch again and was not at all surprised to find only two minutes had passed.

"Are you alright Mr. Bates?" Mrs. Hughes inquired politely, "You don't seem to be making much progress on your book."

"No you're right , I'm not," John smiled slightly, "I just have a bit of a headache is all," he said, making an excuse.

"Well perhaps a bit of fresh air would do you some good? What do you think, Mr. Bates?" John wasn't sure, but he thought he saw a hint of a sparkle in the housekeeper's eye.

"Perhaps it would at that. Perhaps I'll just step out into the courtyard for a few moments."

"I'm sure that's just what you need," she paused just a second, "for your headache. I think Anna might be out there as well. Could you tell her I'll be locking up in fifteen minutes?"

"Yes Mrs. Hughes. Fifteen minutes." He was out of his seat and making his way to the door as fast as he could without drawing too much attention to himself.

Anna sat on a crate in the darkest corner of the courtyard waiting impatiently for Mr. Bates to arrive. When she heard the door to the hall open and close a huge smile spread across her face. But then as she recognized his familiar step she suddenly felt rather shy. She had no idea what was about to happen and she had very little experience in these matters to fall back on.

"Hello Mr Bates," she said quietly, biting her bottom lip and swinging her legs back and forth.

"Good evening, Miss Smith," John spoke with just a hint of teasing in his voice. "Mrs. Hughes sent me out to tell you she's locking up in fifteen minutes." He continued to approach her as he spoke, finally stopping directly in front of her.

"Did she? And is that the only reason you came out, Mr. Bates?" She asked tentatively.

John breathed deeply, "What do you think, Miss Smith?" He asked, gently taking one of Anna's hands in his and brushing his thumb across the backs of her fingers.

"I think today was complete torture and Thomas is a beast for taking your spot at supper!"

John chuckled softly and the sound sent shivers through Anna's entire body, "I agree completely." He stepped closer and raised her from her seat without letting go of her hand. Anna couldn't help herself and placed both her palms flat against his chest.

She was gaining confidence now, "So you missed me?"

"Every minute of every day I was away."

"And why is that, Mr Bates?" She slid her hands a few inches higher and looked into his eyes.

"Because I love you, Anna," he whispered softly. His hands went around her waist and rested lightly on the place where her hips met her back. "Because I'm in love with you. Because any day without you is sheer misery and any day with you is pure joy."

She rested her head against his chest and he wrapped her more firmly in his embrace. He tucked her head under his chin and they simply stood there for a few moments.

"This changes nothing you know," he spoke quietly and sadly.

"I know," she answered.

It was quiet again until she said, "This changes everything you know."

He didn't move, but answered, "I know."


End file.
